In University Southern California School of Cinematic Arts (USC) he had a roommate named Randal Kleiser. He also met some classmates like Walter Murch, Hal Barwood, and John Milius, which became students for filming and which is known as “The Dirty Dozen”. The Dirty Dozen inspired him to film –making. Lucas was also inspired by Lester Novros a film -making teacher. He was also inspired by Slavko Vorkapich, who moved to Hollywood to make stunning sequences for studio features. He also became friends with a film maker student Steven Spielberg.
In 1960s he made nine short films. By the 1970s he was a writer- director. Between 1971 and 1977, he made the movies like THX 1138, American Graffiti and Star Wars. Over two decades, Lucas worked really hard as a write and producer, and continued making movies on films, T.V and other medias.
"Modesto Junior collage and got in a junior high school anthropology"
ReplyDeletehmm. He's in junior *college* (collage is when you put a bunch of cut out pictures together to make a picture) and he gets in junior high school (same as middle school). Does this make sense?
Liberal doesn't need to be capitalized
So far, the first paragraph is about school. Why end with swimming? For whom is it embarrassing? Not a good way to end the paragraph.
2nd paragraph
If you're going to use both the abbreviation and full name, put the abbreviation in parenthesis, not the full word. What about those guys who became film students? Did they work with him on films? Did they work in his company? How did they influence him, since Lester *also* influenced him. Again, you need to tie all this together.
3rd
take out the space
spell nine
"THX 1138 American Graffiti, Star Wars" - using the quote makes it look like this is one movie. THX 1138, American Graffiti and Star Wars are three different films.
End with a period
overall
This looks like you just rewrote a bunch of random information you read without much thought about what you're saying. There's no theme, beginning, middle or end.
Please work on it some more before I give you a grade.
love
ms. h